(Shattered) Turn the Car Around

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
All that I feel is the realness I'm faking
Taking my time but it's time that I'm wasting
Always turn the car around.

Was it the power of suggestion as I was listening to OAR on the way to swim practice Tuesday morning, or maybe the fact that I couldn't fill my lungs with air? My whole body hurt. It didn't take much to realize that trying to swim in the condition I was in would yield no benefit. The U-turn on Greenlake Way brought me quickly home and into sleepy Mike's arms. It's no fun waking to your sobbing wife beside you but as always he knew what to say and do.

How the pain in my knee traveled in to my hips, rib cage and shoulders as I slept Monday night is a mystery. It took me a few days to shake it, but I'm getting there.

The latter part of the week was better. I swam Wed, Fri, Sat and Sun. Friday, I got my butt handed to me by the speedy Lane 4 crew. Saturday I redeemed myself a bit. Queen Anne Pool is closed, so my summer lake swimming friends Caroline, Rick, and Peter (and the gentle giant Bart who favors water polo to wetsuits) joined us at GLAD which was a fun surprise. Greenlake closes March 9-29 so maybe I'll return the favor and visit them at some point soon. Today I swam at Helene Madison, at a solid masters workout that Brett introduced me to awhile back. I think there were 9 of us in the lane at one point. Nuts.

Last night at a dinner party with old friends I was asked about my training. I pretended that everything is going according to plan with respect to the Ironman and said as much. Do you think if I keep saying it, believing it, that it will come true?

Another question line has crept into my mind lately. It goes like this: what if this knee thing really does go away in the next few weeks? Do I have the motivation to start from scratch? Will I be so tentative that the whole thing will be unsatisfying anyway? If I don't do the Ironman, won't our yard look nice this summer? Maybe we could do that dive trip to North Carolina in July? Or I could sign up to swim the Hellespont?

Clearly, I am overthinking things.

Sorry for the drama above.